Dirty

Fire in the bones keeps my mind occupied as of late. Change, newness, service...all these things do too.  The fire burns this truth into my heart: be working hands instead of a talking head; go and do; bring justice in My name where there is none. But how, Lord?

The stirrings and desires don't lay out a 5-point plan. And it seems, just when I really see God doing something, not quite clear but a definite shadow on the horizon, it shimmers and disappears. I can wait. But I fear missing something in the waiting. I fear a lifetime of waiting and being forgotten. I fear senseless and stupid.

I truly feel like my voice, my work wouldn't be missed if it ceased. I'm not looking for an out. I'm clawing around in the dark for significance. I know the Sunday School answer. My significance is His. You make much of your life when you make much of Christ. You change the world when you live knowing He must first change hearts--namely yours; firstly yours.

All this begs me to ask myself why I do the things I do. Am I out for recognition? A place of prominence? Is there contentment and joy in being simply bone or sinew within the Body and not hand or foot?

Bodies are made up of cells, solitary cells that stick together to make the parts. So it is with His Body: the Church. That is significance. We become His body.

I am capable of stringing words together and even of saying good things once in awhile. I strive to use words to convey Truth. But I should be more than just a mouthpiece for Truth. How best do I do justice and love kindness?

What I'm doing always seems too small. There's more--so much more to be done. I want to do more than throw a check at it. Put me in the trenches, God! I want to get my hands dirty!

And there’s this book I’ve been reading...it resonates deep within me; with all of these musings. It reminded me that God has much to say to us concerning getting our hands dirty. And one of the questions put to me to write about when I signed up to receive an advanced copy was, “What is the next right thing to do?” This is the question that keeps me up at night; the one that keeps me searching for that one, all-encompassing task that would fulfill God's mandate telling us to do justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with Him. 

Except, there is no all-encompassing, singular, one task that can answer this call. Instead: Do justly to everyone and in every situation; love mercy for everyone and in every situation; walk humbly with Him always. I cannot sit on my duff, waiting for the bright and shiny of a unique, life-encompassing, titled task to fall into my lap. Feels like that would be serving with only myself in mind. Go and do requires that I get up; offer rather than wait to be served; advocate; let my life be filled with pouring myself out to those who need the Grace He's given me. 

Seems like pouring oneself out was mentioned by someone else, too...

"Even if I am to be poured out as a drink offering upon the sacrificial offering of your faith, I am glad and rejoice with you all..." (Philippians 2:17)

Then let me be a jack-of-all-trades in the way of service. Getting my hands in the dirt will look a hundred different ways. And this is still answering the call--I say this to remind myself. For too long, I misunderstood about going and doing. It was always within the context of vocation. The most important work you could ever do was in the one place God put you to work. 

Yet, who do I think I am to decide what is the most important work I'll ever do for the Kingdom? Or that the work I do is insignificant because it's not big enough for me? Only God can determine all that. My attitude should be that anything I do in the name of serving God is the most important work I'll ever do. And what I do should be governed richly and deeply by the charge:

Do justly, love mercy, walk humbly. 

If it's not just, it's not of God. If it requires me to discard mercy, it is not of God. If it keeps me walking proud, it.is.not.of.God. 

So let me be dirt-covered. I will stick to the trenches because going down there is where I will find my purpose. Mercy is needed even there. Especially there. I will go with being just a drop of elbow grease in the work of the Body. It's not about me, anyway. 

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